We have all heard the old way of saying “making friends in adulthood is hard.” But is that really difficult? Despite the challenges of navigating adulthood social bonds this is an area of active research and continuously evolving.
In recent years researchers have found three main hurdles to forming close friendships:
1) proximity; 2) repeated and unplanned interactions; 3) a setting that encourages vulnerability [1].
Proximity: regular face-to-face interactions, whether it is sharing a meal or grabbing a coffee, proximity facilitates genuine bonds;
Repeated and unplanned interactions: spontaneous interactions can strengthen relationships;
Vulnerability: share your thoughts, fears, and dreams. Authenticity strengthens friendship and helps sustain it over time.
In addition we live in an ever-increasing digital world with many connections that are particularly challenging to keep up with, especially long-lasting relationships that require time which many adults do not have. However, prioritizing quality over quantity proves more effective.
In fact, quality connections matter too and what you are willing to share with your friends plays a crucial role. Engaging in deep conversations beyond mere facts and recent events fosters lasting friendships. Paying attention to small details can also enhance lifelong, meaningful bonds. In an article titled “10 Ways to Make (and Keep) Friends as an Adult,” Bonlor [2] emphasizes that superficial online friendships are unsustainable and unhealthy. Whilst nourishing qualitative friendships positively impacts our well-being, boosting immunity and reducing blood pressure.
To do so, investing time plays a key role in long standing friendships. Regular catch ups and shared activities create meaningful moments. Be there fully engaged for both good and hard days, as friendship is not just about the highs. As busy adults, we must allocate time for lasting relationships and embrace change. If traditional catch ups no longer work, explore new ways to create unforgettable memories.
Engaging in outdoor adventures with friends not only strengthens our social bonds but also allows us to reap the mental health benefits of nature!
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REFERENCES: 1. Brett and Kate McKay. The Best Way to Make and Keep Friendships in Adulthood. The art of manliness 2. Bonlor, A. 10 Ways to make (and keep) Friendship as an Adult. Psychology today, 2016
